Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Confession.

Like many, many other women, I have the usual laundry list of addictions: shoes, purses, coats, makeup and more shoes. Nothing shocking about that.

But there is another.

I have a thing for notebooks. Notebooks, journals, sketchpads...if it's bound, blank paper, I love it. I buy them, and then never end up writing in them. The ones I do write in, I never get rid of. I know it sounds super strange, but keep in mind, I never said I was normal.

I like what a blank page can represent. A fresh start, a clean slate, starting over, something with no mistakes on it. The possibilities for what you can put on the page are endless. I could write about anything! Where will it take me, what will I do next? The suspense of what could go on the page kind of keeps me from putting anything on it sometimes. It turns into a nice mixture of love and fear. I'm reminded of cement as I say this. My love/fear of blank paper is like cement. Sludgy, sticky and leaves me stuck.

I once read that when you have nothing to say is the time you have the most to say. I've found that to be true on more than one occasion. I've often had lots of emotions and thoughts racing through my head and been completely unable to make enough sense of it to write it down. It's different when I'm in front of a computer though. When I type, I can keep up with my thoughts. I think quickly, and I type very quickly. I don't write by hand all that quickly. When I try, my handwriting turns into another language (bekahnese) and very few people can read it. Not that many people read my handwritten journal entries.

For the time being, this blog is somewhat of a journal, I guess. But I should really try to put pen to paper one of these days. Moving on.

Today I wore the Olive Oyl t-shirt I bought yesterday, denim skirt, brown tights and brown leather scrunchy boots with gold bangles, a leather cuff bracelet and a beaded necklace. You can't really see the necklace in the picture.


I didn't have a sweater or anything that matched so I had to go without a warmer layer. Most things I own are black or grey, not brown and blue. I should remedy that.

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