I'll Procrastinate Later

I need structure in my life. I need to go to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time, do the same thing and keep it that way, every day. I have this thought every day. Every day I say, "I'll start tomorrow." When tomorrow comes, I'm too depressed to get out of bed on time, and the day is ruined. So I say, "I'll do it tomorrow." And then tomorrow comes, and I'm too depressed to get up again.

I'm starting tonight. At 10:00, no matter what I am doing, I will go to bed. I will set my alarm for 6:00 and give myself 10 minutes tops to get up. If I don't...there will be consequences but I haven't decided what yet.

I do that with everything. It's always "I'll do it later" or "another day." It's never now. Why? I don't get it. It's not like the stuff I have to do is particularly hard or anything. I'm just not good at life.

I wore all black again today. I haven't been feeling very colorful lately. I like black. It likes me. I see no reason for us to break up.

The shoes are courtesy of my sister. She wore my black boots out today, and one of my sweaters yesterday or the day before. I wore her sweater and t-shirt Sunday. This whole sharing arrangement is working quite nicely.

24 minutes til bedtime.